How will MY marriage affect YOURS?

Ahhh...the inevitable question. 

Funny, because a very similar question was asked when No-Fault Divorce was pushed on us.  How will your neighbor's divorce affect your marriage? 

Advocates of No-Fault Divorce argued

• Few people will be affected,
• Children will be better off it their parents are divorced and happy,
• We're lowering the cost of divorce for a handful of people,
• Studies show it will be "ok", and besides
• How can their divorce hurt you?

To be clear, previous to no-fault divorce you had "FAULT" divorce.  Every state had their own grounds for divorce, but virtually all of them included adultery, abuse, cruelty or desertion.  For any of these reasons, one could get divorced. 

But what we have now is UNILATERAL divorce.  In other words, one person wants a divorce and the other is forced to accept this decision.  As a result of no-fault divorce, the State expands it's power, authority, and cost. SEVENTY PERCENT of divorces are unilateral.  In these cases, the State must step in and enforce the wishes of the one spouse.  A Judge is forced to separate children from a parent and decide who gets what. 

Most unilateral divorces are initiated by women, and most of these women are not necessarily worse off economically for having divorced.  The Journal of Socio-Economics notes that child support serves as an "economic incentive for middle class women to seek divorce."  The majority of time, dads are told when, where and how much time they can spend with their children and how much money to send, and moms are told if and where they're allowed to move.  The State creates dead-beat dads, and as a result the State must create programs to help the children that suffer. 

As a general trend, children from disrupted homes do worse in every area than children from intact homes.  They have more physical and mental problems.  Fatherless boys are more likely to be aggressive and ultimately be incarcerated.  The Institute for American Values notes that the government's total annual cost of fatherlessness is $112 BILLION a YEAR. 

Since the inception of no-fault divorce, which was only supposed to affect a handful of people who would have gotten divorced anyway,

• marriage rates have fallen and cohabitation rates have increased.  People have lost confidence in the institution.
• Studies show that people are less likely to invest in their marriages.  Spouses are less likely to put their spouse through college.
• Spouses are less likely to have a child together. 
• The rate of divorce has increased by 10-20%, depending on the study. 
• More women work outside the home in order to self-insure against the probability of divorce. 
• People marry at a later age. 

It is clearly concluded, that changing the availability of divorce has affected the permanence of marriage and changed the behavior of millions.  And yet we are told that changing the definition of marriage will not affect anyone. 

And we naively believe it.

(Thanks to Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse at the Ruth Institute for this great information!  Click the button on my sidebar for more great information on marriage!)