A Night with her Birth Mom

Last night we hosted a visit and dinner with Abigail's birth mother in our home. 


One year ago that statement would have brought on fear and anxiety.  Today?  Smiles and contentment.  


To say that the Lord has changed our hearts in regard to open adoption is an understatement.  He has replaced fear with peace, insecurity with appreciation, and vulnerability with contentment.  We are so grateful to Abigail's birth mother for the amazing gift she gave us in our daughter and for what she continues to offer: a relationship with Abigail.  It will help her to truly know how loved she is by all her parents.  


In planning this latest get together, I tried to think of a place where Abigail could be herself by crawling around and playing freely.  There is a shortage of places like this in our town!  She's too young for a park and a restaurant is too confining.  Instead I asked J to pray about inviting her birth mom over for dinner.  The look on his face told me he doubted this would happen, but pray about it he did.  When we had our first date (since Abigail's birth) to celebrate our anniversary, we talked it over some more and he agreed!  


The night before she came over, I was rocking Abigail to sleep and giving her a bottle.  It occurred to me that perhaps her birth mom would enjoy the opportunity to engage in the normal bedtime routine the next night.  All at once my heart was filled with trepidation and perhaps a little jealousy.  But I quickly realized that the only reason I am able to rock my sweet daughter each night and gaze at her precious face is because of her birth mom's choice. Her loving decision to create an adoption plan for her daughter cost her a lifetime of missing bedtime routines.  If I have the opportunity to let her experience it, I should do so with joy and compassion.  


As it turned out, the opportunity did not present itself.  She left before bedtime, but after a wonderful evening of fun and laughter.  It was a great decision to have her in our home.  Abigail was in her element, showing off her tricks and toys.  She was comfortable and joyful.  And why shouldn't she be?  She was in her home, surrounded by people who want nothing but the best for her and who would sacrifice everything to give it to her.