Forever Ours!!! And here she is!

She's home!!! UPDATED with a pic...sort of!

We got a later start on the day, but it went faster than we expected!  Gianna is home and Abigail is mesmerized!!!

Oh my goodness!!!!  Our family has doubled in 14 months!!!

THANK YOU, LORD!!!!!

Thank you, everyone, for the prayers and encouragement!!!  Our baby is home!!!

Red Tape

We were hoping to be done and home by the time Abigail woke up from her nap today.


Instead it might be closer to (if not past) her bedtime.  


RED TAPE.


The amount of red tape regarding the paperwork is unbelievable.  We had the same issues with Abigail, but because the agency was a stone's throw from the hospital, it wasn't a big deal.  Now we're an hour and a half from the agency- and looking at potentially having to drive back and forth-  a couple of times.  Are you even kidding me???


For the last few days I have been overwhelmed with the "peace that transcends all understanding." It didn't make sense just how much peace I felt about the details of everything- and yet I did. But today I'm a ball of nerves and couldn't eat this morning.  


Almost there.  Almost there.  Almost there.  


Saint Gianna, pray for us!
Blessed Chiara, pray for us!
Saint Gerard, pray for us!
Saint Brigid, pray for us!
Saint Lucy, pray for us!
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!!!

All is Well!!!

Sorry to leave you hanging!  All is very well- we're just exhausted from the emotions and travel.  (It's an hour and a half each way.)  


We had a great first visit and a fabulous second visit today.  The power of prayer is so evident as all of us feel such peace.  We are very comfortable together and are able to laugh and chat like old friends.  We really love this family.  


And baby girl?  


GIANNA LUCE is perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  


I've forgotten how tiny they are!!!


Same drill as last time- no pictures until finalization.  So email me if you would like a sneak peak of this precious girl!!!

She's Here!

Born at 7:10 am
7 pounds 5 ounces
21 inches
10 fingers
10 toes
and two anxious parents dying to meet her!


We're dropping Abigail off at a friend's house today and should meet her around one!  Pray for us!  (ALL of us!!)

Labor Has Begun

Not hers...she's still scheduled for Friday!  (Baby will come home Monday, God-willing.)


Mine.  


My spiritual labor.  


The anxiety, fear, and sorrow for the birth family hit me like a ton of bricks this morning, and like contractions, it revisits me at regular intervals.  I pray through it- often needing to literally sink to the floor or brace myself against the wall and breath through the pain.  Usually simply praying "Your will be done" over and over again is enough to bring me that peace that I crave.  Then I'm able to call to mind times of God's faithfulness.  He was faithful in our adoption losses and He was faithful when our adoption went through.  Regardless of how this turns out, HE WILL BE FAITHFUL.  


I'm noticing a huge difference in how I'm handling this spiritual labor.  In our last four attempts, I sought peace as the world gives.  I analyzed every word spoken and unspoken, every look, every emotion.  I hounded my social worker for her "gut feeling" and encouragement.  I wanted her to tell me this was going to happen.  She would not, but still I pressed.  I wanted someone to tell me in full certainty that this would happen. 


Today, I'm surrendering our unknowns to Him and looking for an eternal perspective.  I'm claiming the peace He gives, knowing that He'll be on the other side of Monday.  I'm thankful for these trials, as they force me to cling to Him with every breath.  I can't do this on my own.  I need a Savior, and am praising God that I have one.  




Adoption is hard.  I'd forgotten just how hard this is.  It is so difficult when our joy comes from a place of great pain.  How do you prepare your heart for these conflicting emotions?  After Abigail's birth mom signed, I remember holding her and feeling totally numb.  I was confused- shouldn't this be the happiest moment in my life? And yet I was exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions and unsettled by the deep sadness that I felt for her birth mom.  I couldn't focus on my joy that day- only hold our precious, precious gift and mourn her birth mom's loss.  


As we inch closer and closer to baby girl's birth and placement, my heart is overwhelmed with sorrow for her birth parents.  How great is their sacrifice!  What a risk!  What pain they are accepting out of love for their little girl!  I have only a glimpse of their pain, and it is crushing.  And yet they remain fully committed to their adoption plan.  I am in awe of a love so great and so strong that it is willing to take on such pain.  And I pray that they will experience the overwhelming glory and joy of the Resurrection.  


Please, Lord, resurrect this pain and sorrow in their lives.  May it bear great fruit and bring forth new life, hope and love.




After reading about this dark side of adoption, some might ask how or why?  I admit, it's much easier now that I have Abigail to hold.  Countless times I have held her and whispered thanksgiving over her. Countless times I have said, "It was worth it.  I'd have gone through a thousand more heart-aches to get to you."  I know I will feel the same with the next baby.  Yes, we are risking total heart-ache.  It is worth it.  God will be faithful and His love endures forever.

FIVE DAYS!!!

That's right!  FIVE DAYS!  They moved her c-section up to the 18th!!!  Baby girl is coming THIS FRIDAY!  Saint Rose Philippine Duchesne's feast day!  


This was such an extraordinary answer to prayer.  I'll explain in a minute.


About three years ago my Mom and I were driving together and talking about adoption.  I told her the only negative I perceived about adoption was that I wouldn't be able to nurse my adopted babies.  "Actually you  might!" my Mom told me, and proceeded to tell me about what she had heard at La Lache League years ago.  I was shocked and intrigued.  


But then we were hoping to adopt twins and I decided it wasn't worth making life more complicated.
Then Isaiah and we only had a few hours' notice.
Then Caeden Michael and I was scared the adoption wouldn't happen.. 
Then Abigail and I was terrified the adoption wouldn't happen.  


And now this baby comes along.  I'm feeling more secure than ever- both in the expectant parents' commitment to adoption and my ability to handle it if they chose to parent.  I'm concerned that I might be biting off more than I can chew since Abigail and a newborn will already be a lot!  But after talking to wonderful bloggers who have done it, the local LLL leader and much prayer, I've decided to try.  


My main goal is the bonding experience.  Any milk I produce will be a total bonus.  It completely astounds me that producing milk is even possible!  I bought a Mede.la supplemental nursing system (SNS) which allows the baby to receive formula while breastfeeding.  The breast stimulation, along with some medicine, might induce lactation.  Dr. Jack Newman has made a science of how to induce lactation in adoptive moms including a flow chart!  I loved this method because it ruled out pumping, which I had already decided against.  Too much stress!  


The hospital where she's delivering does not have a lactation consultant.  I started really stressing this week thinking that if we bring her home on Thanksgiving, no lactation consultant will be available until Monday (28) and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!!  I was growing in anxiety about establishing a bad latch or being totally overwhelmed when I realized what was happening and prayed about it.  I asked Him to iron out these details and open the door for help for me.  THAT NIGHT the expectant Mom told me they had moved the date to the 18th!  Now she'll come home either Sunday or Monday and I'll have a few days to meet with a LC!  Isn't that amazing!!!  Thank you, Lord!


So I'm going to give it a try and I'll let you know how it goes!  I'm fascinated by the possibility!!






In other news, I created letters to spell baby's name and hung them in the girls' room!  (How fun to say the "girls' room"!  And nope, you don't get the see the letters yet!)  I listened to all your GREAT advice last week and set up a diaper station in the living room.  I also decided to move Abigail's carseat behind the driver's seat and baby's behind the passengers'.  This way Abigail can craw in through the passenger side and climb into her seat safely while I buckle in baby.  (Thanks, Maria!) We've been practicing Abigail crawling in (which she loves) and also walking more in and out of stores while holding my hand.  She's had lots of opportunities since we have so many errands to run all of the sudden!!!


Because we might have a new baby in our family in FIVE DAYS!!!!!!!!!


SOOOOOOOOO excited!!!  


Love,

Advice?

I have three main avenues of preparing for baby girl's arrival.


1) Cook.  I'm cooking and baking like crazy and freezing everything!!!
2) Shop.  Trying, trying, trying to get my Christmas shopping and projects finished.  
3) Mentally prepare.  This is where you come in!


Any advice for handling a newborn and toddler? (Abigail will be 14 months.)   I need advice as basic as how to get both girls in and out of the car!  I read two neat tips for interactions between the girls.  1) Have the baby "talk" to Abigail.  "She says, 'wow!  That's some great dancing!  I love to watch you dance!'" or "She's crying and saying 'whah, whah, I want to be a big girl and dance, too!!! No fair!'"  2) Tell baby to wait.  "Sorry baby, you have to wait now.  I have to help Abigail right now!!!"  Even though you were going to help Abigail already- telling the baby to wait help Abigail understand her needs are being met, too.  


Aren't those good?  I'm good at stealing great ideas!  Any other advice???

Adoption Update

Sorry to keep you hanging!


We met with the expectant family twice last week and the meetings were incredible.  They truly could not have gone any better.  When we talked on the phone initially, we discussed what we would name the baby (we already decided- more on that later) and at our meeting they were calling the baby by name.  She even put Abigail's hand on her belly and said, "Your sister's in here!  Baby _____'s in here!!!"  WOW.  


She was originally scheduled for a c-section on November 21st, but told me in our first conversation that she was considering moving it back to the 25 to give us more time and to prevent her from being in the hospital on Thanksgiving.  Bummer- but understandable.  When we met on Wednesday, she had already changed the date.  I teased her a little and expressed my disappointment at having to wait to meet baby girl.  I told her I already had a turkey outfit for her that I hoped she would wear on Thanksgiving.  


Well- my teasing must have resonated with her because at our second meeting the next day she said, "I have a surprise for you!!!"  She had moved the date BACK to NOVEMBER 21 for me!!!  "So she can wear that turkey outfit" she said!  


That's huge, right?  


So baby girl is coming two weeks from yesterday and will come home (God-willing) either Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning.  As anxious as I am to have baby girl home- I almost don't mind waiting an extra day just so I can bring her home on Thanksgiving!!!


Everything feels so good and right.  It is amazingly freeing to anticipate this adoption with Abigail in my arms.  I went to Tar.get last week to get a couple of things and nonchalantly threw some pacis and bottle nipples in the cart like it was no big deal.  That would have given me a nervous breakdown in the past!!!  We've arranged to borrow a few things and we've bought multiple things- including a big ticket item of car seat.  (We had been given Abigail's and it has since expired.)  I really think she's coming home!  And if she doesn't?  They're returnable- or we'll use them for our next adoption- and we still have Abigail.  What a freeing feeling!!!


(Of course we'd be very sad and would mourn this baby girl- but it wouldn't be as devastating as previous adoption losses.)


THIRTEEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PLEASE PRAY that our fingerprints come back ASAP!!!  We have to re-do them today and it often takes 2-3 weeks to return results.  Pray God's hand guides them for a quick return!!!!



Saint Gerard, pray for us!
Saint Gianna, pray for us!
Blessed Chiara, pray for us!
Blessed Mother, pray for us!

Even Better

Last week I was chatting with my neighbor, who was having a rough day.  Wanting to cheer her up I asked, "Want to hear some good news???  Because I'm bursting with excitement!"  


She immediately responded, "YOU'RE PREGNANT???"  


"No.  EVEN BETTER."  And I proceeded to tell her about the possible adoption.  


Even better.  How sweet the words that came bursting out of my mouth!  And it's true!  If I were pregnant I'd have to wait nine whole months to meet baby.  As it is, I can hardly stand waiting three weeks!  


Even better.  God is good.




Saint Gerard, pray for us!
Saint Gianna, pray for us!
Blessed Chiara, pray for us!
Blessed Mother, pray for us!

The Phone Rang Again!!!

We have a possible adoption on the horizon!  


It's a GIRL and she's due the week of Thanksgiving!  (What a day to celebrate THANKS!)  We have spoken to the birth parents twice and I just love them.  They have been through the wringer and have good reason to be leery of adoptive parents.  But they seem really comfortable with us and everything sounds so good!  We're meeting with them face to face Wednesday morning.  


The night we found out about this (last Tuesday), I was putting Abigail's toys away after she went to bed.  I saw she had pulled a little booklet off our shelves. Now I have these shelves blocked off, but normally if she gets to them she pulls everything off, not just one tiny booklet!  Nonetheless, I picked it up and began to re-shelve it when I noticed what it was: a novena to Saint Gerard!  So upon Abigail's advice, we immediately began our novena.   


Saint Gerard, pray for us!
Saint Gianna, pray for us!
Blessed Chiara, pray for us!
Blessed Mother, pray for us!