When our second adoption fell through, I was ready to jump in to prayer again and accept that as my role. The Lord had just as surely told us our son's name. But my husband was not so ready. The idea of calling another unknown child by name seemed too much ownership- too hard on our already tortured hearts. I understood his heart, and so on my own, I prayed for "the little guy".
It wasn't the same.
And now we have our third unsuccessful adoption. The subject of his name was quite the drama as we prepared for this adoption. His birth parents had named him and it was very important to them that he have this name. We struggled to honor their wishes and yet obtain ownership of the name ourselves. When my husband and I sat down to discuss the middle name, we had both come up with the same name. I resisted for a while, because our God-son has a VERY similar first name and the same middle name. But my best friend was thrilled with it, and it felt so right. And as I wrote about here, it turned out to be a miracle because the birth parents had originally picked the same name!
(Unfortunately, they changed their minds on his middle name after he was born, and it makes me really sad that we've lost that connection. I don't understand why she named him differently. She said her best friend did it. I don't know. I thought it was an incredible connection, and am still not sure what happened.)
After THAT adoption fell through, I knew, once again, my vocation was prayer. I knew I'd pray for this fourth child by name. But my heart ached to name the third child. My sweet husband agreed to formally (in our hearts) name him, and so I'm proud to announce:
Sam & Grace
Isaiah
Caeden Michael
We love our precious spiritual children so much, and look forward to the day when we are united in Heaven, and all will be understood, and all will be filled with rejoicing.
16 comments:
They are so blessed to have such a wonderful couple praying for them.
This is beautiful, and these children's lives will be touched by your prayers in ways that you can't even begin to imagine!
I will also pray continue to pray for M. She sounds like a confused kid being pushed around by everyone in her life. :(
You and J are prayer warriors for these children, and they are so blessed to have you praying for them!
Isaiah is a beautiful, solid name. It's so nice to know him by name now.
Oh my..I love those beautiful names:) They are so blessed to have you and J to pray for them. You are such a sweet soul.
They will be blessed by your prayer support!
We named the baby we miscarried Jerome Robert and we pray for his intercession for all of us. Even though it was very early, we had a sense it was a boy. Then one night Mike was out jogging and couldn't get any stations to come in on his headphone radio so he decided to pray instead and the name Jerome came to him. It is not a name we had ever considered with any of our babies. When we looked it up later, we saw it meant "Sacred Name" and that Saint Jerome is the patron of scholars. At that time Mike was working on his Master's and also in training to fly KC-135's, and it was a stressful time. Our baby Jerome was like his special intercessor.
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing this with us.
This is precious, and those babies are so blessed to have passed through your lives and into your hearts.
By the way, your new header is perfect! Annie's lovely quilt is a sweet centerpiece, and you look beautiful! My cat would never abide diaper practice like Maggie! Love it.
Beautiful names...we too named our first daughter, Magdalena, before the adoption fell through and I still pray for her by name. Her birth mother was 16 years old and had picked our profile from the agency. But, a week later, her parents told her that they would no longer have anything to do with her if she did not pick a couple that was older and made more money. Well, our hearts were broken and it took years before we pursued adoption again.
Thank you for your comment on my blog. I just posted ch 2 if you are interested in hearing more. I am realizing that it is going to take me awhile to complete the story, as my time is limited with a newborn.
In Christ,
Julie
So beautiful that you can make this disappointment into a wonderful vocation. They are so lucky to have your prayers.
And thank you for letting me know about the adoption tax credit! I never would have thought of something like that and it's a major game changer financially!!
oh Lauren, thank you for revealing the names! Names are so powerful. We love you and will pray for your spiritual children as much as we are praying for you!
Beautiful. Simple, and beautiful.
hello I just found you. This post is so meaningful, so full of faith in God's will for your lives. my vocation to motherhood was also a long one, but God provides in His his perfect timing. bless you.
What a blessing to turn your pain into such a beautiful vocation of prayer for those children. Thank you for sharing their names.
Praise God that He called us each by name as it says in Isaiah and we are His. I love that he whispered their names to you. Lord bless Sam and Grace, Isaiah, and Caeden Michael. Yep still can't say his name without crying! Love you!
What a sweet way to remember your spiritual children, Lauren. I always regret that I didn't name our miscarried babies. Bless you, bless your DH and bless your spiritual children.
Lauren,
As you know, I have recently joined in reading other Catholic Ladies IF and Adoption blogs because I am living with the same crosses. I am hoping to "join" your group. Right now I feel like an outsider because no one really knows me. I would appreciate if you would add my blog, andrewandjuliesadoptionstory.blogspot.com to your Catholic IF and Adoption blogs. You are truly an inspiration to me and I have been trying hard to live a life of hope in Christ, especially during the challenges that we are facing in our adoption journey right now.
In Christ,
Julie
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