We dream of
- land- more than five but less than twenty acres
- space-to spread out and be away from the "rat race" of city living and keeping up with the Jones'
- a water source such as a spring or pond
- chickens
- bees
- a huge garden
- J wants rabbits, too, but I'm not convinced yet!
Now with our time in the Navy quickly coming to an end we are looking for a place where our dreams will be fulfilled.
And we found it.
We found fourteen acres with a spring, a huge workshop with central heat and air, a tornado shelter and a decent house for an incredible price. It's about to go into foreclosure, so we'd get it for a real steal. The house is so-so, but for the price we could gut it and remodel. It's about 15-20 minutes from my parents house and 30 minutes from where we hope J will work. It's perfect.
But.
Suddenly I'm very aware of how isolated we'll be. I am naturally an introverted person. I need my alone time to energize, but I have very strong extroverted tendencies and they've grown stronger since becoming a Mom. I pretty much live for time at the park with other moms. And this realization has me perplexed, confused, and panicking about the implications on our dream!!! This land has everything we've hoped for-but it is so far away from civilization. There's only one neighbor within walking distance. (And they're flying a confederate flag...not a good sign.)
I don't know what to do. I don't like to write blog posts without either a resolution or a good question to ask for advice, but I'm just stumped and unsettled! How can I have my country living in the city surrounded by people? Anyone want to join us and start a compound? :)
Any advice? Words of wisdom???
19 comments:
No advice, but maybe some words of wisdom maybe, doubt doesn't come from God. Enjoy the next beautiful step in your life!
Your dream house, oh my! How exciting!!! Do you have a realtor or are you just looking online? If there's someone who knows the area really well and what's out there right now, maybe they could find you something with lots of land but more neighbors or a playground close by. (Or maybe looking at more properties will really help seal the deal for your dream home?...despite the lack of neighbors.) My parents live on their dream farm (60 acres) and they have many neighbors close by. There is even another little neighborhood within walking distance so lots of land doesn't always equal no civilization. Prayers for this exciting decision...I know you will find peace with the right one.
I hear ya on this. My parents have long aimed for what you were aiming for and my sister lived in such an arrangement for awhile. It truly is wonderful... her oldest son could run through the woods, learned to chop wood as an itty bitty little man and had an entire shed of real tools to play with, they had wood stoves to heat the house in the winter and they grew many of their own veggies. My stepdad would kill the occasional deer (they were plentiful). Gosh we even lived off the land easily when a hurricane knocked out power - water from the creek, veggies from the garden, etc.
But... but... especially with little ones... it can be hard. My sister drove 40 minutes to Mass. She didn't have a sense of community. Her little ones had an amazing place to play but friends couldn't always join them. If they needed something from the store, it was just a lot of hauling the kids up and down the road. I used to spend the night with her sometimes when her Dh was out of town b/c honestly, it felt creepy and vulnerable out in the woods without him there... even with my parents just across the creek.
Town living (where everything is walking distance and your neighbors can become your greatest friends and assets) definitely has its advantages. I guess it just depends on where God is calling YOU. I have to remind myself, when I get frustrated with suburbia, that there is no "perfect" situation. God just works with the flaws and assets of each. Praying for you!
Your dream is very similar to mine. It was nowhere near K's dream until the past few years. He's now seeing the light. :)
I too have the same feeling. I'm very introverted but I worry about being too isolated. Since having kids I find myself feeling lonely. I've never felt that way. I'm guessing even being an introvert, there is such a thing as too much alone time.
I don't really have any advice. Except that I'd LOVE to live on a compound with you! :) Fabulous idea! My hope is that as my kids get older it will be easier to not feel so isolated. When they're young I think it's hard because it's a bit difficult to have a conversation with them. I will offer my prayers though. You never know about the family with the confederate flag. I have a few family members who have one (of course it isn't displayed) but they are very nice people who are not racist. They just view it as a part of southern history. I'm not necessarily agreeing with them, I just know that they mean no harm. Maybe this family is the same way.
I'm in on the compound :)
It is so hard being far away from your church. We are only 20-25 minutes but it feels like forever.
I know here there are some places you can have chickens in your back yard. :)
I'm in on the compound if we have a prescribing doctor. LOL I need my meds! :)
I know I could NEVER be far out from civilization. I'm just too accustomed to having things accessible to me. I actually want to move closer to where we go all the time which is a good 15 miles north. :)
That is how much I hate driving to get everywhere. :)
I am all for the compound. My husband and I have a very similar dream.
Sounds heavenly! I gotcha though on the introvert thing. I prefer to be alone, but it's almost too easy. It's kind of like exercise effort to be around a lot of people--one of those things I should do but have to get motivated for.
Y'all are so sweet! Thank you for your responses. I only have a minute while Abigail is temporarily entertained.
GIMH- word of mouth and looking on-line. The area we want is highly coveted. It's like a small town out of a movie- clean, quaint and sweet! GREAT to know about your parents, though. We will look into contacting a realtor and sharing our dreams with her.
Sarah- sounds like your sister has exactly what I'm hoping for and fearing. AT least our drive to Mass will be half of hers- 20 minutes.
GIMH again- Abigail just climbed in my lap and is pointing to your (tiny) picture saying "MAMA MAMA!" So cute!)
My time is up- but love the interest in the compound!!! That seriously sounds like perfection to me. Anybody want to move to Texas? I'd so jump on the compound idea in a nano-second!!
Your concerns resonate with me. My struggle as a mom with secondary infertility is that my daughter is extroverted and I'm introverted. She thrives with other people around, whereas I have no problem having NOTHING on the schedule for a week and keeping home. She has no siblings to keep her company, and as she grows, I worry that I will drag her down, keep her from friendships, etc., not purposefully, but because I don't naturally go out and about and make those friends. For that reason, I thank God that I live on a block of old homes all right next to each other, with many children out in the yards. It makes it easy for my daughter to make friendships without having to leave the house! :) I would love a place as you describe, but I know that being far from civilization would be the death knell of my social life and would probably impact my daughter negatively in the long run. I would completely isolate myself and probably turn into a hermit! :)
Continue your prayerful discernment. God has brought you this far - he won't stop now!
I am introverted too, but have found that I need other adults around a few times a week so I don't go insane! I could never survive 30 minutes from town. I love that I have our grocery store 1 mile from our house and we live close to everything.
I actually wished I lived in a neighborhood with ALL my family and friends so I don't have to travel to see them. Maybe I am just lazier than most people! LOL!
Also, with small kids, we barely have time to keep up on house and yard projects with what we have right now. I can't imagine having more than an acre to keep up on!
will you have a working toilet? hahahahahahaha
Oh my word Lauren! I think we're in the same boat! We have the same checklist except minus the bees and rabbits ;) I thought we had found our house 2x! We've made two offers on two different properties and were flat out rejected on the first and outbid on the second. And I had that same sense of feeling just a little bit isolated...but I've never really lived "out in the country" before, so I just resigned myself to thinking that that's what people who live out in the country deal with! There's not much out there right now in our area that has land and is unrestricted (did I say we wanted dairy goats?)...but yesterday we found a house that is not exactly in a true neighborhood, but it is at the end of a street with other homes and they are all mini-farms- everyone has +/- 8 acres, with a pond! We are making an offer on that too, although it is still way over our budget, so while they are in short sale, I hope the bank is really ready to dump the place! My point is, if you find something you KNOW is right, make an offer! And I think God will take care of the rest if it's the right place for your family! Good luck!
That sounds like our dream property, too! Except that we would love more than 20 acres in NM - on a lake or river.
However, since having Isaac and staying home, I've definitely wished we lived more in a "neighborhood' already - our little cul-de-sac is so isolated and we have nowhere fun to ride our bikes or walk to, no fun parks around, no community pools, and kids Isaac's age or parents my age.
When we do move to NM, we plan on renting in town for a few years to really gauge what we truly want before we make any commitments on a property.
Good luck figuring out what you want to do!
First of all, I am so so jealous of your summer routine. We have the anti-routine going on here, but are cramming in all the fun we can fit. Second - I have been having the same debate in my own heart, although our decisions are much more in the future. I always wanted to live in the country, but I realized, especially with kids, that I crave the company and community from other families. And on the other hand, you have the opportunity to shield your girls just a little longer from some of the scarier influences of the world.
So ultimately, compound it is! We are in! ...just not yet.
Sorry, I am just now reading this!
We bought a home that I fell in love with when we were living in NC. I loved it because it was "in the woods" amd I also just loved the house itself. However, when we bought it, we had no kids. Within 2 short years, we had 2 babies. (thanks be to God!).
I cannot tell you how difficult and painful it was for us to live so far away from civilization. The thing is, we actually lived in a neighborhood. But it was still 15-20 minutes to a grocery store or gas station.
It just made life hard. You figure you need to go out once a day (or most days) just to get out of th ehouse with little ones. Well, add on 40 minutes or so of driving and it just gets hard.
I agree with GIMH. DON"T settle if you have doubts. Find your dream property where you can also be at the store rather quickly because we mamas tend to need to run out a lot!
When we moved to St. Louis, I was so much more conscious of convenience. I am so much more at ease having other young families right down the street I can meet up with, etc. We love our location and would never go back!
I think living out in the country would be really nice, just when our kids are a little older, or moved out all together. When they are young, it just seems hard to be so isolated. Ok that is just my two cents! Praying you can find the right place for your family!
Confession: that is not my dream. :) BUT it sounds like a beautiful life and I can only imagine the sweet memories your girls would make in a place like that. My only advice is from Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Oh, and also Psalm 27:14: "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" That's the guidance I received from God in response to my anxiety about selling our house. He has a plan and he IS accomplishing it. Wait for his peace, friend!
It is so funny that you post this because this is exactly how I feel! I yearn to be in the country where there is space, little traffic, and all the wonderfulness the country has to offer. There is just so much to the city I have gotten used to though! Like a quick run to the neighbors to say hi! Definitely hard!
We totally go back and forth about this very same thing. Right now we live in a neighborhood with small yards which means everyone can see what everyone is doing. It's nice because the kids have other kids to play with and it's a safe area. The downside is the kids have other kids to play with, not necessarily friends of our choosing if you know what I mean. We like being in town, we are close to church, can bike ride and walk places, but it would be nice to be out a bit and have some space. Praying for discernment!
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