I thought it would be a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders and that we would be able to rejoice purely. But my heart broke for her. She (birth mother) was so strong, so courageous, and so happy for us. I cannot stop thinking of her sacrifice and her amazing love for her daughter. My heart broke for her as she kissed sweet Abigail good bye and told her how much she loved her. We continue to kiss her for her birth mom and tell her of birth mom's love many times a day.
I thought I'd feel better the next day. But I was plagued with fear of the birth dad suddenly seeing a picture and discovering how stunningly beautiful Abigail is and wanting her. All day long it haunted me.
And then I found out about this new situation that might destroy our family. And I'm absolutely terrified. Waiting, waiting, waiting for news. I'm terrified when our social worker calls and terrified when she doesn't. I have never been so scared in my whole life.
And that makes me. so. mad. I'm furious that I have these fears when I should just be rejoicing! Whether or not she's ultimately ours, I want to treasure and savor these days with her. I am trying so hard to live in the moment, but I'm often failing.
I'm sorry to be so secretive. You must understand. But please, please pray for us. We are desperate for your prayer. We're praying the Lord hides us in the shadow of His wings. We are so grateful for you.
34 comments:
Lauren, I can't imagine how difficult and frightening this experience must be for you. I'm so sorry that it is this way.
I hope that somehow you are able to immerse yourself in the joy of Abigail without regard to circumstances that are outside your control, even though they threaten the family you've waited so long to have.
You have our continued thoughts and prayers. Is there a sort of timeline to all of this? Can you expect an answer in a week? a month? 6 months?
Still praying for your situation, Lauren.
You hang in there, Mama.
I understand completely.
I pray you get the peace your family deserves, and soon.
Just know that we are all there with you, praying for you.
I'm so sorry!! I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better, but there's nothing I can think to do but PRAY!
So I'm praying that God will continue to guide you and your family and that everything will work out, according to his beautiful and holy plan.
My dh and I are going to mass tonight and I want you to know that you and your family's intintions will be in my prayers extra.
I have enlisted one of the greatest prayer warriors I know. I have her praying and I am praying like crazy and will offer my mass for the situation. Hugs!!!
Praying, praying, and praying again.
Praying and offering our Mass this weekend for you and your family!
Prayers are continuing for your family!
Praying!
The wait and uncertainty must be excruciating. Praying that all is resolved as quickly as possible and that you can relax and settle in as a family of 3 (plus a protective kitty).
Continuing to pray!
I am praying you so that God wraps you in His Arms. I am crying for you because I know exactly how you feel. We are still in the midst of our adoption and would die if someone took our daughter from us.
I pray that your sweet Abigail will forever remain in your family!!
And I pray that you find peace in these moments. I know that this peace will only come from God, so I pray you open your heart to His LOVE!
These emotions are so hard to deal with, especially with such little sleep.
Enjoy Abigail and love her like she is your daughter forever!!
Praying for you. So sorry that the situation is still so tenuous.
you got it, always!
Praying!
Lauren,
As a foster/adoptive parent I understand your need to not disclose. I'm praying so much for all of you.
You have been through so much. My heart goes out to you and my prayers continue.
praying, praying, praying, praying...
Praying over here, too!
I offered Mass today for you, as well as some pain I had. Will keep praying and offering up. I hope you feel God's abundant grace throughout this scary time.
I'll be praying hard for you all day!
continuing to pray for you and holding out for the best
You have my prayers. I can't imagine what it must be like...
I have not got the capacity to understand where you are right now. Prayers for you and your family.
I pray that the Lord lifts this huge weight off of your shoulders really soon.
I keep thinking about you Lauren. So many prayer warriors are on begging on your behalf! I'll keep all the prayers coming! xoxo!
Praying for your family!
I know in all this uncertainty, you have to be very guarded and I am so sorry that there's so much turmoil around what should be such joyous moments....many prayers continue for your family, and for birth mom (and dad's heart!)
You have a stranger in Wisconsin praying very hard. I have the experience of waiting out the ten days during which the birthmother could have changed her mind (and continued calling to check on Marguerite)... It was so nerve-wracking. It sounds like your situation may be more nerve-wracking and dragging out longer. All I can say is that I feel for you and I am praying very hard. Hang in there, and savor these wonderful (if uncertain) days.
Oh Lauren! My heart breaks that you are having to endure so much agony all the while falling more and more in love with your beautiful Abigail. I cannot imagine how torn your heart must feel on a constant basis.
We are praying so hard for you, and cannot wait to hear how HE works this out in your favor. Lord, please have mercy and act quickly!
praying for your family and that little girl.
Praying for you sweet one:)
Wow, I am praying. I just can't imagine.
Praying so hard for you!!!
Post a Comment