Two Eventful Target Trips

A few weeks ago we received one of "those" emails.  The kind that makes your heart skip a beat and not care if it sounds like the girls are creating bedlam while you check your email "real quick".  It was from a girl who follows my blog asking if we were interested in adopting again.  We had this question come up a couple of months ago and decided no, but somehow even though this adoption was more expensive and the baby was coming sooner, we both discerned our hearts were saying YES!

Everything seemed to be moving in a positive direction.  God provided a couple of financial miracles that made the adoption possible.  We were in a frenzie of paperwork to get our Florida home study up to date.  I started cooking extra meals to freeze.  I even bought cute BOY outfits and swaddle blankets at Target.  Such a significant moment for me.  I wanted to tell everyone I passed, "There are boy clothes in my cart!  We're adopting a baby!!!"  I think I was hoping the cashier would see the boy items and look at me knowingly.   Alas, nobody knew, so I squeezed Abigail's hand as we left the store saying, "Mommy just did something very exciting!"

In the end, we had two significant things change for us, and we had to back out of the match.  We felt terrible doing so- both for the expectant mother's sake and our own, but we were flooded with peace.  Adoption is a tricky thing, and it has to be right for all parties.

I went back to Target on Friday and returned the boy outfits.  Abigail wanted to carry the bag inside and I wouldn't let her.  I needed to do it.  I had tears in my eyes as I fingered the outfits one last time. This time the cashier did look up questioningly as she was trying to take the returns, and I was holding on to them!  So I whisked the girls around the corner, knelt down and gave Abigail a giant bear hug.  I was flooded with heart-wrenching memories of Target- finding out we weren't adopting Isaiah while at shopping and having to return Caeden Michael's boy clothes.

But this time I had two precious girls to hold.  This time I had a little girl shopping for her first nail polish (bribery to stop biting her nails!).  This time I had my baby in the cart making adorable sounds with her lips and shooting me winning smiles every time we made eye contact.  This time I left the store, not in hysterical tears, but hand in hand with the two greatest gifts I've ever received.  Adoption loss is always difficult, but it makes all the difference when there's somebody to call you "Mommy".

Please join me in praying for this brave and loving expectant mother.  We are praying that she will find the right family for the baby, feel peace and wisdom in her decision and plan, and that all details will be worked out by the Lord.